Z-A Monday: HOMEWARD!

Xavier thought, you know, the heck with the Honda or Hyundai. He wanted to head home now, so he'd hitchhike. He headed for the highway and hefted his thumb, hailing a ride.

After hundreds seemed to pass as he hoofed along, a hick-looking guy in a horrendous looking old pickup halted. He got in and said hi.

"Howdy, mister. I'm Huck, and this is my truck."

"Hooray", Xavier thought, "The king of the Hillbillies".

"Where you headed?"

"Uh, Ohio, right around Columbus"

"Cool. I knew a guy in Hilliard. Used to cruise High Street with'im."

"So, where are you headed, Huck?"

"Back to Almost Heaven, West Virginia. Got a shotgun shack up in a holler there. It's home, you know. Good for huntin', hollerin' at the moon, and just hangin' around. Say, you hungry?"

"A little..."

"Well, if you get a hankerin', I've got half a hedgehog left in that handsack back yonder."

Xavier felt like hurling at the thought of it.

"Uh, thanks, um, kindly, but I'll hold out for a hamburger or something."

Farther down the highway, maybe halfway home, the pickup made a hair-raising sound.

"Aw, heck!" said Huck. "It's heating up. Ain't gonna haul us any further."

Huck exited the highway and, siting a nearby hotel, said "Hain't goin' no further. Y'all might's well hole up in this here Holiday Inn. Me, I'm gonna hunker down in the truck. If I get 'er goin in the morning I'll give ya a holler."

Well, hallelujah, here he was in heck's half-acre, halfway home, still living hand to mouth, feeling haggard 'n' hog-tied. He wasn't happy, but it wasn't hopeless, either. Life handed him a lemon, and he figured he'd lost it, like the book said. In hindsight, the hillbilly was kinda hilarious. He'd
handle whatever hurdles happened tomorrow. For now, he'd hit the hay.