Z-A Monday: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

Xavier woke up to the from a fitful sleep to the sound of Reveille, the ship rolling and rocking in the swells. Then he heard the roaring. It sounded like a muffled "Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh!"
Suddenly, two ragamuffin rapscallions ran into the room.
"Arrrr, matey, we're herrrrrrrrre to rrrrrroust ye from yer slumberrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"
"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrise and shine, swabbey!"

Xavier complied, reticently, and, rubbing his eyes, inquired as to the rough-and-tumble nature of these respective insurgents, replete with replica pirate regalia.
"Aye, swabbey, we're PI-RRRRRRRRRRRRATES! Whada ya think? Now get ye dressed in these rrrags and rrreport to the main deck!"

Again, Xavier complied, reaching the deck right away. He spied his contact from the night before, and asked: "Respectfully, sir, Pirates? Really?"
The Cap'n looked him in the eye (with his one good retina) and replied:
"Matey, yes, we're pi-rrrates, the meanest rrrascals and rrrogues who ever rrrode and rrreigned on the rrraging sea, who rrravaged those scurrrrrrr-vy rrrats, and who rrraised their rrrapiers to rrrrout those rrraunchy rrreptiles!"

Xavier reached to scratch his head, confused, staring up at the Jolly Roger flapping in the breeze. As he did, the men, in a circle, begain ranting and raving as one.

"We'll rough 'em up! We're a rag-tag team!
We're the rowdiest ruffians you've ever seen!
Pass me the rotgut; Drink ye the rum!
We'll raise the roof; We're PIRATES by gum!"

The Cap'n regarded him, finally raising his voice.
"You, Xavierrrrrrr, go rrrig the rrrope! Rrready the rudderrrrr!"
Xavier had no clue regarding this nautical babble. The men knew it, and began ribbing him.
"Ah, ye lubber, ye'll be rrrrowing us home!"
"Mate, you've crossed the Rrrubicon! There's no rrrreturn alive fer ye!!!"
The ragged men moved closer to him, sensing weakness, their rowdy reverie most unsettling.

- - - - -

Somewhere on shore, a rooster crowed. Xavier rubbed his eyes, now awake, at rapt attention. Wow, he thought, that R.E.M. sleep plays crazy tricks with reality. There was no sound; just the roll of the ship. He arose, stomach rumbling, and rambled up to an empty deck.